Clan Procrastination's Song - Pirates Who Don't Do Anything

Lady Celestia's picture


The Captain:
Well I've Never Weighed and Anchor
So I've Never Run Aground
And I've Never Fought the Ships Wheel ... In a Squall
And I've Never Heaved a Ho
And I've Never Had to Row
And I've Never Had to Use a Parasol

Of course in hind sight - I should have used the following closing line:
And That is Why I am The Captain After All

Well I've never used a ladder
To reach those nooks and crannies.
And I've never told my boyfriend that I think he's way too tall.
And I've never had a sword fight.
And I've never sought the 'X' spot.
And I've never hidden treasure in a wall.

Well I’ve never been to Jamaica,
And I’ve never smoked with Rasta,
I guess that’s why the rum is always gone.

That means I’ll never get me sea legs,
So I’ll tap me several beer kegs,
Now I’m ready for me pirate booty call!

Thorny Rose:
Well, I've never been a part of
Such a group of roguish clansmen
'til me mates here did invite me,
Now I be a part of Y'ALL!

And in keeping with the naming
Of the Clan Procrastination,
I decided NOT to do me rhymes at all!  :-)

The Rev:
Well I've never fought Chuck Norris, Bruce Lee or Mike Tyson
Even though I'm told I look like Steven Segal,
But I have fought with dysentery on three different continents
but I've never been to Boston in the fall!
Well, I've raised a pint in Penzance
and I've stood where Jean Lafitte did
and I've swabbed the deck and been lashed to the mainmast straight and tall
I've fought with a sword and dagger though I've got a girlish swagger
and all that makes me this great ship's know-it-all!
Well, she's never said no to bacon
She's never said no to sausage
And she's never passed up a nap on your face or in the hall
She's never said no to snuggling
She's never run out of kisses
And she'll USUALLY come a'runnin' when you call
Well I've never met a Loki I would like to sample
And I'll never say no to a friendly hug or beer
And with all my shipmates
I feel a great big kinship
So I'd rather not be anywhere but here.


Lady Celestia's picture

Spring 1197 (2018) New Cremates

Trebert (Josh)

Oh I've never been to Paris

And I don't much like the Frenchies

But you can call me Trebert anyway.

Since it's the name God gave me,

I guess I'm gonna keep it,

And you can find me drinking rum all day.


Tempest (Lauren)

Oh I've never been to Stradford

But you can call me Tempest,

Because I love Shakespeare and stormy seas.

Oh I'm often known to stumble

To trip and laugh and tumble,

But I'd still love more rum in my mug if you please.


Infinity (Trinity)

Oh I've never been to space,

But my name is still Infinity,

Because my legs are long as long can be.

Oh I love to climb the riggings

But we don't have sails or netting

So I guess I'll just keep climbing a pine tree.


Kawaii (Eden)

Oh I've never been to Japan,

But my name is still Kawaii,

Because I'm just as cute as cute can be.

Oh I haven't done my chores,

But I'll get to them tomorrow

I'm just too busy dancing can't you see!


Freya (Angela)

I don't live in Valhalla but I'd like to send your soul there.
And you can ride with me in a chariot pulled by Cats.
You can call me Freyja and you know that I’m a goddess.

But I’ve never been to Bastrop in the fall!


Celestia - Mistress of Heavenly Bodies